(This is me in Sept 1963. The jumper is dark green cordouroy and the blouse is the same green striped on white. The curls are the courtsey of my pink sponge rollers. The band-aid could have been from any number of activities – I did everything fast and with enthusiasm – band-aids were a normal part of my life.)

 I thought school was the greatest social club every invented. I’d get to wear nice clothes, play with my friends, and do my other favorite things: read and write.

Kindergarten was great. We played, we snacked, had show and tell, colored, and went home. What’s not to love?

I should have known first grade was going to be a challenge the day I met Teacher. Mom took me in and the lady behind the desk asked me some questions about how far I could count (to 100), what words I could read (more than she expected), and what my favorite color was (lavender). Things got a little tense when she asked me how many colors I had in my box. My delighted answer: 64. Her eyebrows raised, she clicked her tongue, and shook her head at me.

I smiled. I was so happy to be there.

On the way home, Mom suggested I keep my reading and writing skills quiet until after Teacher had taught them. I agreed and then because it made no sense to me, I forgot.

One day I arrived at school feeling especially full of life. My desk started out in it’s normal place in the row, but in the course of the day traveled to beside Teacher’s desk, the corner, and the coathall. I finally ended up sitting on the cold floor in the hallway. I was told loud whispers, writing on the wall, and singing out loud in the coat hall were not acceptable behaviors.

It only took me a second to notice the other kids in the hallway. Three of them. Just the right number for a quick game of tag. Things were going well, until the other kids (who werre far more experienced at hall sitting than I was) returned at top speed to their doors.

Before I could ask them why, a large, but gentle hand rested on shoulder. My principal asked me what I was doing. I turned to him as if announcing great news and said, “We were playing tag!”

Okay – so that wasn’t acceptable either. While waiting for my mom to come and have a talk with Mr. Carlson and me, I watched Teacher explain the behavior he’d missed. She shook her finger at me as she passed and the secretary ushered me into the glass walled office. I asked if he was going to spank me, (they could do that in the way olden days) and I watched amazed as he tried very hard not to smile at me. His eyes danced with the same kind of mischief I felt coursing through my veins.

He said,”No, I’ll leave that to your parents.”

That sounded better than getting the black paddle whacked on my bottom in that office where anyone walking by could see me getting punished.

Mom came in and I admitted to my various escapades and was told they would be dealt with when I got home. Back in the classroom, I found my desk in a new position: Up front by the chalkboard. I watched carefully as Teacher wrote the numbers 1 – 10 on the board. Then, she pointed to each number and said, “One, two, TREE. . .” I had no idea I was going to laugh out loud until I heard myself. Her dentures didn’t fit well and her “th’s” came out as “ts.” I thought it was the funniest thing I’d ever heard.

I was appropriately punished at home and gave my solumn promise to be a good girl. The sad part was my reputation had been established and if someone else whispered loudly, Teacher often assumed it was me. It got so bad, Daddy had to come to school and talk to her about it. So did Mr. Carlson. Although she blamed me for a lot of things I didn’t do, I still did plenty, but the difference was, I was willing to “own up” to my actions. Mama was teaching me that telling the truth was very important for good girls and I was working very hard on my “good degree.”

Except on those days when mischief ran in my veins. Then, I’d carefully weigh the pros and cons of being naughty: if I do this, this will happen. Often, I decided the punishment was worth it.

On the last day of school, Teacher hugged and kissed me and told me, “I’m retiring because of you. I will never teach again. Your second grade teacher has been warned about you. I hope she has a better year than I did. I love you.”

I cried the whole way home. I worked even harder on being good that summer. I also felt something change inside me. Yes, I know I needed the discipline and I don’t blame any of the adulits in my life who had to apply it in one form or another. I’m grateful for their love and investment in me.

The change was the blame and shame that bruised my spirit. Learning that had once been easy,was immediately hindered. It was as if a metal door had been slammed shut in my brain. Being a good girl (defined by sitting still at all times - which meant no twirling or dancing – and being quiet) took a lot of energy as I struggled to be who I wasn’t. I still loved school and my friends, but the delight learning once brought was gone.

I ran into Teacher years later, when I was sixteen and working in the women’s department of our Tempo store. I was so glad to see her, certain she’d forgiven me in the tens years since I’d seen her, I told her who I was. Instead, she made it clear she still blamed me for ending her teaching career. She shook her finger at me, clicked her tongue again and said, “Be good!” She also refused to let me help her find what she was looking for.

I cried as I drove myself home that night carrying that old blame and shame on my shoulders.The metal door that had started to re-open, slammed shut again and I barely passed my tests the next day although I’d studied hard and knew the answers. Would I ever be good enough?

When I met her again at sixteen, I’d also just become a born-again Christian and was experiencing the wonder of God’s forgiveness. I’m sad, because I’ve  learned she never forgave me. That is probably the most valuable thing Teacher taught me: forgiveness is a choice.

It really is amazing how one very good oh so awful bad day in first grade can impact your life.

 Thanks for letting me share this Legacy story with you. Do you have one from your life you’d like to share? Email me joydekok57@gmail.com and put “Legacy” in the subject line.

Joy

 Joy DeKok

Author of the newly released eBook, Your Life, a Legacy

Available HERE

.

. . .something new from my friend Staci Stallings. It’s never boring with Staci – she’s full of energy and creativity.

See you tomorrow.

Joy

Dreams. Most of us have them and excuse them – we ate too much pizza too late or watched something upsetting on television.

In Davis Bunn’s new novel, Dr. Elena Burroughs can’t ignore hers or those of the others coming into her life. When an ancient manuscript is placed in her possession, her training as a psychologist shifts and she realizes her gift of interpretation has a purpose far greater than she could imagine. She and her new friends must confront an evil that jeopardizes the world economy.

If you feel me holding back on this review – I am. I don’t want to give a single detail away that will ruin the adventure that reading this book is. Each word has been carefully chosen because I want you to discover each clue, nuance, and character for yourself.

Most of you know, I’m a Davis Bunn fan and will read every book he writes. If you ask me which one is my favorite, I can’t give you a straight answer. It’s the one I’m reading currently, the one I just read, or the one I just re-read – he cannot write them fast enough for me.

However, this time, he took me somewhere I did not want to go.

Dreams. Those nebulous, barely remembered in the morning, sometimes bizarre things that weigh heavy on my mind. Mine are in living color, scare me badly, and sometimes cause me to wake up crying out. (Dr. Elena Burroughs would have a hay day with them!) I can remember a vivid few from when I was a child that still frighten me a bit when I think of them.

Interpretation isn’t likely to go beyond the pizza thing I mentioned earlier because trusting someone else with translating them would be weird. Or if anyone found out, they’d think I was weird. Maybe even a weirdo.

So, I keep them safely tucked inside myself. It’s just safer that way.

And yet . . . for all my discomfort in the real world, I felt none of that reading this book.

I applaud Davis Bunn for the way he took a spiritually difficult (even radical in some circles) subject and made it entertaining. On every page I felt a gentleness I can’t explain even though the book is full of energy, murder, financial espionage, and action.

The author dealt with the interpretation of dreams and the book of dreams, in a way that was mysterious, but not superstitious. While it didn’t get overly religious, it is one of the most faith-filled books I’ve read in awhile.

I will visit the pages of this story again at least twice. When it comes out in the audio version, I will buy it for date nights – those evenings when Jon and I have coffee together and listen to strangers read us stories and again on my Kindle when I decide to visit the good doctor and her friends again.

Here’s a photo of Davis Bunn where he writes:

Visit the author’s website:  http://www.davisbunn.com/

About Book of Dreams    

For Dr. Elena Burroughs, life is divided into two chapters—before and after the death of her husband. Today marks the point that her span of being a wife is equal to her span of being a widow. Even her success as a psychologist and her worldwide acclaim for a book on the interpretation of dreams is dimmed by an unspoken “If only.”

Then a new patient arrives, one so private only her first name is given. Impeccably dressed and escorted by two bodyguards, Sandra recounts a frightening series of recurrent nightmares. Elena agrees to consider her case more carefully, convinced that something ominous may be at work here.

Elena’s interpretation of Sandra’s dreams confirms that, indeed, the new patient and her family confront a powerful global network of dangerous forces. As the story unfolds, they face a key question of the Christian life: How do you understand and fulfill the will of God?

Read Chapter 1 FREE: 

http://books.simonandschuster.com/Book-of-Dreams/Davis-Bunn/9781416556701/excerpt_with_id/17972

Can we talk?

Let’s pretend we’re having coffee. Well, you can be drinking whatever you like. I’ve ordered a dark roast, black.  I invite you to listen to my heart with yours.

What does a blog written by a 53 year old woman look like? I’ve struggled to the point of tears over this question. Why? Well, this blog thing really matters to me. Obviously, a lot. Searching for templates has taken hours and even though I’ve chosen this one because I love the design and the colors they are so not my colors – I cannot wear them, but perhaps my blog can. You think?

I uploaded one that was fun to the point of funky. Very bright, full of energy, young, and I loved it, but it felt dishonest. Next, I waded through dozens of dark, elegant themes and uploaded a few of those to see how they felt. Oh so not me.

Then, I read the book 31 Days to Finding Your Blogging Mojo by Bryan Allian and got a ton of great ideas, but still found myself stuck when it came to the design of this very personal blog. What did I want:? Feminine. Classy without feeling old. Friendly. (I think the little bit of lime green in the upper corner helps with that don’t you?) Comfortable without being sloppy. Warm. Pretty without being cute. (I think I’m way too old for that although I do love cute.) And most of all, safe.

Safe? Where did that come from? Well, that’s a blog post for another day.

So. . .did I succeed or do I need to continue the search?

I’ll settle in with my coffee while you think about your answer. Please let me know what you think – I asked because I really want to know. I think. Well, sure I do. Now for a little more caffine. Don’t you love the feel of a warm cup in your hands?

Graphic purchased from fotolia.com  © Igor Klimov – Fotolia.com

. . .for the Oak Ridge Boys to make beautiful music and for me to buy it.

Today I met my brother at Cracker Barrel in Lakeville, MN. (My brother gave me a gift card last Christmas and I spent it today!) I got there a little bit early and decided to buy my CD before we ate. Then, I had an idea. . .I could do something fun like take pictures of the Cracker Barrel staff with the CD. When they asked why I got to tell them that besides being a fan, I’ve met all “the boys,” had lunch with Joe, and that Joe and I share the same
publisher.

They were so kind and shared my excitement over the release.

As I was leaving one of the gals called out to me, “Tell Joe they’re selling fast – we might even sell out!”

The miles (it’s just over an hour drive) went quickly as I listened to four of my favorite voices sing some excellent oldies and some exceptional new songs.

It’s Only Natural  is sold exclusively at Cracker Barrel. I think I’ll listen again in a little  while.

This sweet woman bought 2 CDS – one for herself and one for her parents who live in Oregon.

What do you get when you combine a young pastoral intern named
Elmo with a mega church, and a mystery regarding a black toe? A rollicking good
read. And yet, this debut novel surprised me with its tenderness and depth.

As important as beginnings are to this reader, endings
matter as much. I’m often disappointed as authors do all they can to quickly
tie everything up too quickly. McMillian Moody closed
this novel out with ease often missed in other books.

I laughed out loud, tried to figure out the mystery and
failed, smiled at the romance, and I’m told by my husband, nodded when I read
something I agreed with. The author drew me in, kept me reading, and ended with
the kind of quiet grace that left me hoping for more of Elmo. I’m hoping in
this case the end is not good-bye, but instead a, “see you later” kind of
thing.

Available for your Kindle for 99 cents ay www.amazon.com.

The idea came on a morning much like today. There was a chill in the air that held the promise of warmth later in the day. I’d recently read the history of creation in my Bible and as I drank in the wonder of it all, a story for kids crossed my mind. It didn’t stay there – I felt it make itself at home in my heart.

I saw three children in the story and their parents in my mind’s eye and knew the characters were my niece Sally and her family. I asked her permission and when she gave it, the words came, my illustrator captured the story with her art, and a book was born.

The truth of God’s amazing work is often so big, it’s difficult to connect with it in a personal way, and yet, creation is extremely personal – it’s not only the history of the earth and nature – it’s the true history of humanity as well.

I didn’t want to preach the story to kids – I wanted to let them see the results in the real world – their world.

If you’d like to share the creation story with kids you love, It Is Good might be a fun way for them to see God’s handiwork all around them. You can purchase it by clicking on the books tab on this site. (Price: $11)

Here are a couple of reviews:

Dear Joy,

I bought It Is Good for my Sunday school class to assist in teaching the children the Creation Story. Thank you for including the scriptures as well as showing the splendor of God in our everyday lives. Even now, months after moving on in our teaching, if there’s time at the end of our class time for a story, the book often chosen by the class is this one.

Sincerely,

T. D.

Hi Joy!

I bought It Is Good for my grandchildren at first because you are a friend and I wanted to support you. I didn’t read it until the kids came over for story time . I enjoyed the book as much as they did. We’ve read it often enough they know most of the words by heart and love helping me read the story. The illustrations are beautiful. I’m also glad you included a way to explain salvation to children at the back of the book.

Thank you!

L. M.

I have to confess – I’ve been encouraged to share these positive comments and although I treasure them, it’s hard for me to “toot my own horn.” A friend recently said, “Joy, by sharing them, you’re not tooting your own horn – we are.” I love telling you about the books others have written that I enjoy, and I agree with my friend, but it’s still difficult. The books I write – all of them – are because of God. He gave me the talent, the desire, and showed me the path. Just wanted you to know I know that and am constantly amazed He uses me this way.

Joy

Author Diane Moody has released her first novella!

I’ll be upfront with you – Diane is a friend, but there’s
more to our story than that – I’m also a fan of her writing. I love to do favors
for friends. . .however this review is not that.

This review is about a fresh
voice in the fiction world and about a story so engaging I put the work I love
to do on hold so I could finish it.

Maddie Cooper is a woman with a big dream inspired by a trip
to England and she’s not about to let anyone stop her from making that dream
come true. Not even a grumpy new neighbor with a great accent – no matter how
handsome he might be.

If you’re looking for a fast and fun read, I highly recommend
Tea with Emma. On every page Diane combines England, Texas, tea, romance, and a
touch of faith with an elegant ease.

You can purchase Tea with Emma for your Kindle at the generous
price of 99 cents at http://www.amazon.com/Tea-Emma-Teacup-Novellas-ebook/dp/B0057QO8Q4/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1309279868&sr=1-3

You can get to know Diane and all her writing better by
visiting her website at  www.dianemoody.com

No, I am not speaking a foreign language or in a spiritual
tongue! Let me update you on my new way of walking.

14 months ago, I was told I have type 2 diabetes. I’d need a
new diet, medication, and exercise – the last being as essential as the
medication (metformin). I came home and did some research and discovered what I
thought would be part of my health revolution – Boom Yah walking poles.
(http://www.boomyah.com The day before they arrived, I took a step and it felt like
my knee had exploded. When Advil and ice packs barely took the edge off, I
called my doctor. After xrays and an MRI my diagnosis was: a torn meniscus with
degenerative arthritis. Two cortisone shots, several appointments with a
physical therapist, and 6 months using a walker, I was improving when. . .I
stood up and the other knee exploded.

Repeat the above only this time the shot provided no relief.

I passed my Boom Yah poles every day – I kept them where I
could see them, praying I’d use them one day.

One of my favorite blogs to read is (www.michaelhyatt.com)
by Michael Hyatt. He mentioned a book called, Born to Run (http://www.chrismcdougall.com/) and although
it was a huge stretch for me, I bought the book. (Even in my thin and joint
healthy days, I didn’t like running as much as walking) Hyatt also mentioned he
was trying out some new running shoes – Vibram 5 Fingers. (www.vibramfivefingers.com)

Reading the online comments by people wearing Vibram’s shoes
convinced me I needed to give them a try. Telling my parents about these weird
shoes that were helping people, my dad gave me the cash to order the shoes. (Thanks
Mom & Dad!)

There is nothing normal about the way I walk anymore. Before
my Vibrams I had decided if I needed to use the walker long-term, I would. I
felt myself settling for a new and sad norm. (Side note – or bunny trail alert:
while waiting for the shoes to arrive my mom suffered a serious stroke. I went
to see her often and on the rehab unit I was often mistaken as a patient – the kind
medical staff took the time to compliment my use of the walker and to cheer my “recovery”
on. They were such good people I didn’t stop to explain my situation and just
thanked them. So, I was good with a walker!)

The shoes arrived and I figured out how to wiggle my toes
forward into the little “toe pockets” and took my first steps. My body’s
response was immediate. Within hours the pain in the still injured knee was cut
in half! The arthritis remained, but the tear doesn’t hurt like it did unless I
move too quickly or try to pivot. (NOTE: Vibrams does not claim medical cures or improvement – only that their shoes are good for runners)

Can realigning toes and making my feet do what they were created
to do really make that big a difference?

Yes!

I’m taking a supplement for the arthritis because until the
diabetes is under control, the surgeon is hesitant to do knee surgery.

And. . .in spite of atrophy in both legs from long term
walker use and limited exercise, I’m walking around outside our house wearing my
Vibrams and using my Boom Yahs. I’m slow and clumsy. It’s hard. I’ve shed a few
bittersweet tears – I’m very thankful to be walking and to have these tools
that are helping me regain my health. . .and I miss normal walking. I’ve even
had a few moments of anxiety when I watch people walking with complete ease and
confidence – while I am genuinely glad for them, I WANT that and wonder if it
will ever be mine again. These times are rare, but they happen.

I wear my Vibrams everywhere – even church. My foot apparel startles
a few and complete strangers stop me. My shoes have been the topic of
conversations at restaurants while waiting to be seated and in one eatery the
host calls me “the lady with the gorilla feet.” I’m good with that because I’m
walker free!

One guy who stopped to ask me about my shoes told me he’s
hoping I’ll walk in the local marathon next year. That thought never crossed my
mind when I was healthy and could walk for miles without thinking about it.
Now. . .well, with tears pooling in my eyes I have to tell you. . .he planted
the seed of a dream in my heart.

I’m in training.

I’m delighted to share this interview with Bonnie!

 Bonnie, the story, The Consummate Traitor, left what I call a “lingering” in my mind. Although there are many reasons, one that stands out is this – what would have happened to the world had Hitler reached his goal of perfecting a nuclear weapon? From what you’ve been able to learn, how close was he?

If Hitler had succeeded in producing all the nuclear weapons, jets and rockets not only on the drawing board but being tested in the closing days of World War II, there are two possibilities: 1) We would not exist for he would have unleashed a nuclear Armageddon without understanding that in destroying us he was also destroying himself and his dream for Germany. 2) He would have selected certain cities as the U.S. did in Japan to demonstrate his power and then forced the Allies to surrender to him to save the rest of the world. Because he was visibly ill at the end of the war, he would not have survived to enjoy it but his chief Nazi leaders would have. The Holocaust then would have become the standard for cleansing all those the Nazis deemed “undesirable” and we would be living in a police state today. Some would argue we are anyway, but that’s for another discussion.

How close was Hitler?

From the outset, his nuclear scientists were way ahead of everyone else. My novel is based on only one aspect of the “nuclear” race. Other authors have explored different acts of extreme bravery among the German scientists to delay or sabotage their own work. Britain, the U.S. and the Soviets separately worked to convince German nuclear physicists to defect to their projects because they understood the country to use the atomic bomb first would be the next world power. It’s why I believe Harry Truman decided to use the atomic bomb against the Japanese. He said it was to save more American lives because the Japanese were refusing to surrender, but that action made the U.S. the most powerful nation in the world for the next 50 years

What other historical facts were you able to weave into the pages of this novel?

The use of the English king’s cousin to convince the Danish atomic scientist, Neils Bohr, to defect to London was true, and she did not survive her imprisonment by the Gestapo. A movie producer in England has phoned me twice to see if my research has unearthed more than he has found so far, but I only looked at that single mission from the “what-if-she-lived” perspective whereas he has dug more deeply than I did. He believes she was descended from the German side of British royalty and was already living in Germany near Peenemunde, Germany’s rocket-testing site, when British Intelligence asked her to help the Danish scientist to escape. It is part of Churchill’s “Intrepid” operation the world will never know.

What compelled you to write this book and the rest of the series?

Anger, at first. We glorify war, but it is nothing more than a chess game to those manoeuvring it. For them, the victims have no faces. They are merely tags on a wall map moved back and forth as battles are won and lost.

In Book One, I show you the human side of war and its folly. Those who have never believed that the German people did not know about the Holocaust have only to look at our own actions of indifference and apathy at what happens around us. One day I stood on our condo balcony and realized I had no idea about what was going on three blocks away from me never mind miles away. We live in our own worlds dictated by our own interests until the outside world touches us.

In Book Two, I am revealing the scandalous disregard for humanity in the continual distribution of an anti-malaria drug to the public and to NATO fighting forces that for some is a neural toxin. It is the backdrop to the main plot that brings closure to some of the main characters in Book One.

In Book Three, I examine the treachery of our own trusted institutions and how nothing is as it seems. Mennonites play an important role in my examination of how political intrigue twists their values, morals and beliefs as they grapple with the events shaping their decisions to escape to Paraguay with concealed Nazi war criminals. Tracking them are two main characters from Book One.

While I didn’t sense an “agenda” while reading the book, what do you hope your readers will realize about war?

It’s only in the last 15 years that Winston Churchill’s ruthlessness during World War II has come to light. I wanted readers to see that no war is a good or honorable war. How wise the Greeks were when they first used the Olympics to settle their conflicts, but that ideal did not last because ambition and greed exceed honor and grace. War is a profit-making machine for the winners and so war is perpetuated in one form or another.

 You created two female characters, who while very different, are both strong and capable in their own ways. As you wrote, did you find yourself liking one more than the other? Who is your favorite male character?

I’ve been asked this question in a similar way before, and I have a problem with the concept of favorite. I try to look for redeeming characteristics in everyone, even villains. I’m also aware that all our characters grow from facets of our own personalities, character and experience, so we do explore things about ourselves we like and dislike each time we create a new character in our imagination. Grace reflects the innocent child in me, the one filled with faith; Lee represents the angry advocate, that part of me that declared at age three: “It’s not fair.” It’s like asking me which of my grandchildren is my favorite? Each is unique and precious. I’d go before a firing squad and never declare a favorite before I died.

The true heroes are the British double agent Baron von Loren and OSS agent Morgan Saunders. Ah, and briefly there was the American Norwegian agent. And how could you not like the Irish Quinn Bergin? When I began writing, I pictured him as Pierce Brosnan. For two hundred pages into the story I never knew who the traitor was, and I was in utter shock when the reveal came. I then had to backtrack and foreshadow the revelation so the reader wouldn’t be in the same shock I was. I can’t pick a favorite. I’m sorry.

When will the next book in the series be released?

September 2012.

Is The Consummate Traitor also available at Kindle and Nook?

There will be a Kindle edition within the next four weeks and I am told it can be downloaded into any e-reader. As this is my first e-book experience, I won’t know how true this is until I try each one.

Anything else you’d like to share with your readers?

I haven’t mentioned God’s part in all this. That’s because I either haven’t figured it out or He hasn’t chosen to reveal it to me yet. The one chapter that I swear He wrote for me no one has ever mentioned. I felt it was the real purpose for my being inspired to write the story, but if I have to point it out to people, is that really fulfilling God’s purpose? Maybe it’s a private insight He wants people to experience, not a public one. 

Thanks Bonnie – I know you’re busy with your launch – I’m glad you had time for this interview.

www.bonnietoews.com

 http://www.amazon.com/Consummate-Traitor-1-Bonnie-Toews/dp/1461015383/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1307138700&sr=8-2