Bits & Pieces of Me

The Two Sides of Self Discovery & a Bonus

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Some people I talk with are hesitant to start exploring and recording their life stories because they are afraid they’ll remember something painful.  They resist intentionally going into those dark, murky places.

If there is a memory like this lurking in the background of your life, it might show up when you start creating  your Legacy – in fact, it’s likely. One thing to consider before deciding Legacy Giving isn’t worth the risk is this fact: memories like this can show up at any time in your life, and many of them arrive at the right time.

With that in mind, I ask this question: why not welcome these faded memories into your life and Legacy?

Several years ago, a terrible memory arrived in my life uninvited. As I grieved the incident, lots of things suddenly made sense. I understood feelings and fears that had puzzled me before. Anger that I thought had no reason, was completely reasonable. Questions without answers led to a stunning victory for me – I was able to forgive those who had hurt me. The secret chains from these memories fell away, and I was free.

There are two-sides to self-discovery that comes from remembering:
If a Legacy Giver lets fear hold the memories back, it rules his or her life, and Legacy using the chains of pain and shame.

When you find the courage to explore and record the hardest times of your life, your Legacy Receivers may find their own courage and healing.

The Bonus: Legacy Givers willing to write through the bad times to freedom, find themselves listening to the stories of others with a new compassion. Your Legacy story can transform your life, and touch at least one more, and then so can his or hers. Who knows? You might start a compassion virus so contagious, lives far beyond yours are changed.

Sometimes the stories you’ve lived are about you, but are meant for someone else.

Joy

Joy DeKok, author, speaker, author coach, and social media manager.

Learn more about Joy’s books at www.booksbyjoy.com

 

Your life is worth exploring and recording.

Order the Kindle Version.  

 

 

 

 

 

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Legacy Giving – No Closure

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Legacy Givers (those who write their stories with the intention of sharing them), often ask what do do when the story on their heart has no closure. Here’s my response to them – it may not satisfy, but it’s honest.

Sometimes Legacy Givers want to force a solution or ending even when we don’t have one. This decision may look good on the page, but it will not satisfy our readers. They can tell when something if “off.” Unless we’re using the story in a work of fiction, it’s better to stick with what we know and admit to what we don’t.

Here are a couple of things I’ve learned from my own open doors:

  • Sometimes in the discipline of writing, a moment of closure reveals itself.
  • Some Legacy stories have no closure and that’s okay, although it’s likely it will always bother me on some level.
  • Open doors can mean the adventure isn’t over.
  • Although I say I want closure, there have been times I’ve avoided it (and said it couldn’t be found) because I didn’t like the answer.

It’s okay to write Legacy stories that don’t have answers. Write what you have. It’s enough. The gold you think is missing is probably already there waiting to be discovered by a Legacy Receiver somewhere.

Joy

Your Life, a Legacy

Joy DeKok

Explore and Record the Times of Your Life

Order the ebook HERE.

The print book will be released soon.

 

 

 

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It’s Here!

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I’m holding the print copy! Tonight I’m going to read through the proof copy of Your Life, a Legacy! Angie Hughes of Angie’s Creative (http://www.angiescreative.com/) did a beautiful job on the cover. This little book is a fun size (8X5) with room for readers to take notes.

If you love someone, and want them to share a few of their stories with, this book might be the pefect gift. The price hasn’t been set yet – but it will be soon. Stay tuned for updates.

Your life is a legacy worth preserving!

Joy

Stroke Survivor – A Story of Hope (A Review)

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When I first met Rosella and Don, I knew they had lived a story that could help thousands of people. What I didn’t know at the time was how much it would help me personally.

I was privileged to have read the book before it was in print. Just over two years ago, my beloved father-in-law suffered a debilitating stroke. I stood beside his bed, and prayed for the Kvernen’s as they worked diligently to get this book into print. Now I  knew first-hand how desperately the families of stroke patients needed it.

Last year, my mom had a stroke. As I stood beside her bed, the prayers of many, and the words, I’d read in that pre-released copy of Stroke Survivor again sustained me. We had dark days, but I had a much better understanding because of Rosella and Don’s courage and transparency. They weren’t in the room with me, but the knowledge they shared in words helped me understand that my fears, concerns, and questions were normal. My family and I had needs as well – ones the staff weren’t able to help with. Oh – they wanted to, and tried to, but for the most part, we were on our own.

For the families of stroke patients, your world tilts and that altered place becomes your new “norm.” Your loved one is the same, and different; sometimes from moment to moment. You want to know how the sudden, and often irreversible damage is going to impact your whole family. This is not a selfish concern – it’s necessary to your patient’s well-being and your ability to care for them.

Stroke Survivor – a Story of Hope is like having a personal guide for stroke patients and their families. You’re no longer alone – two ordinary people like you have been walked a similar path. There is understanding, courage, faith, and a wealth of knowledge on these pages. If like me, you walk it more than once, their words become an even greater comfort.

Rosella and Don, thank you for sharing your story with the world. It’s already making a difference.
Joy

 

 

 

To get to know the Kvernen’s better, you’re invited to visit their website at:  www.StrokeSurvivor-StoryofHope.com

You can also purchase their book at Amazon by clicking HERE.

Bless Back – Thank Those Who Shaped Your Life

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Every now and then I have the privilege of reading a book that touches my soul. Bless Back – Thank Those Who Shaped Your Life, by Julie Saffrin is one of them.

Bless Back is full of quotes I like, but one of my favorites is found on page 71, and says, “When someone takes the time to tell us about something we have done, it is like someone has pressed the reset button inside of us.”

At first I wanted someone to reset the button inside me, then I realized that can also happen if I intentionally reset buttons in the lives of others. This truth captivated me – this Bless Back lifestyle thing is like a healing virus. I know that’s not how we normally think, but walk through this with me for a moment:

I offer someone in my life a Bless Back by intentionally thanking them à this act is a blessing to me à that blessing is like a warm oil poured on a hurt in own soul à the healing in my life shows and is revealed through a changed attitude and the desire to give gratitude again and again àthose near me notice and want what I have à I tell them about the Bless Back lifestyle à one by one they start living it with me.

I’m not good with numbers, but this is multiplication I understand and LIVE.

The book is full of stories from people who took the time to thank the people the author calls illuminators and influencers. Then, she offers readers suggestions for ways to offer Bless Backs without limiting readers to them as she encourages us to use our unique ideas and gifts.

Reading Bless Back – Thank Those Who Shaped Your Life will change your life. You will no longer be waiting on the sidelines of life wondering why it’s so hard or empty. You will find yourself living a gratitude filled life. When this happens the one who blesses is as blessed as the one thanked.

In writing this book, Julie Saffrin offers us a vision for making a difference in our little piece of this big world – one thank you at a time.

To purchase Bless Back click HERE.

Author, Julie Saffrin

You can learn more about the author at her website:  www.juliesaffrin.com