Bits & Pieces of Me

Tag Archives: Joy Dekok

Rain Dance – Again

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Sometimes being an author is hard, but even then, there’s hope. Either that I’m a radical optimist, and I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.

Recently, my publisher took Rain Dance out of print and returned the book rights back to me. That happens to authors every day. As I read the letter, I felt a sting of sadness – we both had big dreams for this book. Then, I considered putting it in storage, but first I prayed. As I did, a gentle surge of hope started to twirl in my heart. I asked God, “Really? You want me to try this again?” I paced and prayed some more. After I said yes, a peace I could not understand settled in.

The next step I took was to contemplate my target market – again. Christian women who are pro-life, infertile, or have chosen abortion and regret it. I stepped back into the book and tried to visualize Jonica – again. She’s young. So is Stacie. When I saw them with the eye of my imagination, I was stunned by how  young. None of the covers this book has worn have represented that vital piece of them. The new one had to.

Determined, I started the search for the right cover graphic. I spent hours looking and almost chose another, before I found this one:

Rain Dance re-release date: April 15, 2012 – Kindle E-book only.

She made me smile, and she looked like I’d always (yes – always) thought Jonica looked.

The thought of her on the cover excited me. I tested that by printing this off and walking out of the room for an hour and then back for a second, third, and fourth look. I liked her better each time.

Here’s the catch: Rain Dance tells the stories of two hurting women – at times it’s sad as they battle their pain, hypocrisies, and more hurt before they both find the hope that heals. What do I want my readers to know before they start reading? There is no happily ever after for either of my girls, but there is a hope-filled and hard-won  victory for both.  Do I really want to give away the end? I’m not – until you read the book  you have no idea how.

The other reason she appealed to me is that she is that in this picture, she radiates confidence – in my mind that confidence is in the One she has placed her faith in,  her husband, her best friend, and herself.

I want my readers to see who she is when her circumstances don’t change, but her faith triumphs after a heart-wearying battle. Isn’t that what we all want from the novels we read?

So – here’s the 4th Rain Dance cover. Do you see why I thought it was time for the file cabinet and why I resisted God a little? I’m stubborn, but it would have been far easier to let the book go. Instead here I am admitting failure and announcing I’m going to try  – again.

Have you ever read The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews? The 7th decision is, “I will persist without exception.”

This is my public declaration: I will persist without exception. I will release

Rain Dance – again.

Joy

Joy DeKok

Author, speaker, author coach, and social media manager.

 

Titles of my books: Rain Dance, Your Life, a Legacy, Poetry – Touch the World With Your Art & Soul, It Is Good, Room for Bandit, and Raccoon Tales.

My other websites:  www.booksbyjoy.com    www.authorinfusion.com   www.socialmediainfusion.net

 

 

Graphic purchased at fotolia.com © annette shaff – Fotolia.com

How I Wish I Knew

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I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. ~Carol Burnett

I deeply loved my grandmas, and yet I know so little about who they really were. These days I hold my memories close and whisper questions that no one has the answers to. Were they ever naughty? (Yes, that really is my very first question!) Did they have a crush on anyone besides the men I know they married? If they did, who was he? Did they go to school? Where and for how long? Were their parents kind to them? What were their favorite foods, colors, songs, or books? I know my grandma Joy knew and loved God, but what about the other two? What were their marriages really like? Were they afraid to grow old and die? Did anyone hurt them? Did anyone help them? I know they loved me, but what did they like about me?

How I wish I knew.

What about you – what does someone in  your life wish you would tell them? If you have daughters, ask them what they want to know. If you are a daughter, ask your mom your questions. Ask your grandmothers and your aunts. Be brave – share your hearts before you have only wishes left.

Leave the Legacy only you can – your life stories.

Joy

 

Order the Kindle version of  Your Life, a Legacy today!

Hypocrisy in Your Legacy

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I don’t know about you, but I used to despise hypocrisy in others and I fought to keep my own hidden by denying it existed. The only one who believed me was me and even I knew I was lying, and I believe lying is wrong. This is just one of my personal hypocrisies.

Yes, it still annoys me in others, but it really annoys me when it’s mine.

I’ve talked to several people who fear revealing the times in their lives they’ve done or said something counter to their core beliefs and convictions.

I’ll tell you what I tell them: We’re all hypocrites. If we say we aren’t we’re lying.

Here’s an example: I was sitting in a restaurant enjoying a solo lunch. My peace was interrupted by a passionate discussion several tables away. A group of Democrats tore into the Republicans. (I am Republican) They used raw, vile language to describe my side of the voting aisle. They called us vulgar names. (hate-monger, homophobe, and stupid were only a few)They slung labels around like Frisbees and claimed conservatives were the side that used hate language. They praised themselves as the party of humanity, open-mindedness, intelligence, generosity, and kindness. They let anyone listening know they were progressive and anyone else was “willing living in ignorance in the dark ages.” During their diatribe my emotions ranged from shock to anger and back again. Finally one of them said, “They’re all a bunch of hypocrites.” I’d like to say I responded with great intelligence and debated them with finesse. I didn’t. I kept my thoughts to myself.

During this verbal lashing, these accusers proclaimed their own self-righteousness – the very thing they despise in people like me. Really – as they condemned us, they grew more confident in their arrogance. Their voices raised, hands clapped and others pounded the table. They were right and anyone who believed differently was wrong.

The part that left a lump in my throat was this: I saw myself in them. I’ve sat in groups of people who believe like me and have joined in as we said similar things about those with opposing beliefs.

After a deep self-evaluation, I wrote: When we go from confident in our convictions to self-righteous, we taint the truth of our message, shut communication down, and we become the thing we despise: hypocrites.

As I write my Legacy, I’m admitting to the times I acted virtuous, and wasn’t or compromised a core conviction. I prefer confession to defending myself or accusing someone else. There’s a happy “side-effect” to this: acknowledging my pretenses makes me more aware of them and liberates me from those in the past I regret.

Here’s an interesting truth no matter what side of the aisle you vote for: the very act of calling someone else a hypocrite is hypocrisy.

Until next time,

Joy

Joy DeKok, author, speaker, author coach, and social media manager.

Other websites:

www.booksbyjoy.com

www.authorinfusion.com

www.socialmediainfusion.com

You can order Your Life, a Legacy in the Kindle version HERE.  The print version is still in process.

The Two Sides of Self Discovery & a Bonus

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Some people I talk with are hesitant to start exploring and recording their life stories because they are afraid they’ll remember something painful.  They resist intentionally going into those dark, murky places.

If there is a memory like this lurking in the background of your life, it might show up when you start creating  your Legacy – in fact, it’s likely. One thing to consider before deciding Legacy Giving isn’t worth the risk is this fact: memories like this can show up at any time in your life, and many of them arrive at the right time.

With that in mind, I ask this question: why not welcome these faded memories into your life and Legacy?

Several years ago, a terrible memory arrived in my life uninvited. As I grieved the incident, lots of things suddenly made sense. I understood feelings and fears that had puzzled me before. Anger that I thought had no reason, was completely reasonable. Questions without answers led to a stunning victory for me – I was able to forgive those who had hurt me. The secret chains from these memories fell away, and I was free.

There are two-sides to self-discovery that comes from remembering:
If a Legacy Giver lets fear hold the memories back, it rules his or her life, and Legacy using the chains of pain and shame.

When you find the courage to explore and record the hardest times of your life, your Legacy Receivers may find their own courage and healing.

The Bonus: Legacy Givers willing to write through the bad times to freedom, find themselves listening to the stories of others with a new compassion. Your Legacy story can transform your life, and touch at least one more, and then so can his or hers. Who knows? You might start a compassion virus so contagious, lives far beyond yours are changed.

Sometimes the stories you’ve lived are about you, but are meant for someone else.

Joy

Joy DeKok, author, speaker, author coach, and social media manager.

Learn more about Joy’s books at www.booksbyjoy.com

 

Your life is worth exploring and recording.

Order the Kindle Version.  

 

 

 

 

 

Graphic purchased at fotolia.com  © www.TouchofArt.eu – Fotolia.com

Legacy Giving – No Closure

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Legacy Givers (those who write their stories with the intention of sharing them), often ask what do do when the story on their heart has no closure. Here’s my response to them – it may not satisfy, but it’s honest.

Sometimes Legacy Givers want to force a solution or ending even when we don’t have one. This decision may look good on the page, but it will not satisfy our readers. They can tell when something if “off.” Unless we’re using the story in a work of fiction, it’s better to stick with what we know and admit to what we don’t.

Here are a couple of things I’ve learned from my own open doors:

  • Sometimes in the discipline of writing, a moment of closure reveals itself.
  • Some Legacy stories have no closure and that’s okay, although it’s likely it will always bother me on some level.
  • Open doors can mean the adventure isn’t over.
  • Although I say I want closure, there have been times I’ve avoided it (and said it couldn’t be found) because I didn’t like the answer.

It’s okay to write Legacy stories that don’t have answers. Write what you have. It’s enough. The gold you think is missing is probably already there waiting to be discovered by a Legacy Receiver somewhere.

Joy

Your Life, a Legacy

Joy DeKok

Explore and Record the Times of Your Life

Order the ebook HERE.

The print book will be released soon.

 

 

 

© malwa – Fotolia.com

It’s Here!

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I’m holding the print copy! Tonight I’m going to read through the proof copy of Your Life, a Legacy! Angie Hughes of Angie’s Creative (http://www.angiescreative.com/) did a beautiful job on the cover. This little book is a fun size (8X5) with room for readers to take notes.

If you love someone, and want them to share a few of their stories with, this book might be the pefect gift. The price hasn’t been set yet – but it will be soon. Stay tuned for updates.

Your life is a legacy worth preserving!

Joy