It’s been an odd sort of winter here in Minnesota so far. The last two or three days it’s been in the 40s and raining.

It’s been an odd sort of year for me as a writer. I’ve released two children’s books and will in a few weeks re-release my novel Rain Dance. Under His Wings went out of print and I started two new projects; a novel and a non-fiction book for writers. I’ve also reviewed the third children’s book Raccoon Tales. Very soon my illustrator will have the story in her care and in a year or so another book will be born. If all goes well, I’ll have triplets!

It’s been an odd sort of year for me as a woman. Age is creeping up on me with diligence. My body creaks and my mind shorts out. My body temperature surges then recedes. I like coffee even more but Gracie (who is five) is convinced I drink it not because I like it so much but because I’m old. (I am older than all her grandmas!) I’ve truly become a Ma’am.

It’s been an odd sort of year for me as a friend. My closest friends and I grew closer. A couple of friends decided a friendship with me wasn’t God’s will for their lives and sadly, we parted. In the midst of the tearing and acceptance, I met an author whose writing I’ve always loved. At a writer’s conference in Colorado, Lisa Samson encouraged and challenged us in the art of writing. At home on her blog, Lisa Samson encourages me to see the world one person at a time. She lives and writes with passion and whole lot of God’s glory on her!

It’s been an odd sort of year for our nation. We’re at war and the price has been high. We went through an election that was a vicious and at times confusing war of words. Saddam Hussein was executed as justice demanded and I felt sadness – for his brutality toward the people of Iraq and his lack of remorse. I guess he has an eternity to regret his life now. Maybe that’s the saddest thing of all. Jesus died for him too.

It’s been an odd sort of year for me as a believer. A growing year. Maybe I should say a groaning year. I’m going through what one friend who’s been in this wilderness place calls a tearing away time. God is tearing away the “stuff” in my life – some of it I thought was really good “stuff” – Christian “stuff” and people. It’s a hurting time. I sense His presence in all of it but will confess to you: I’m looking forward to the healing time.

It’s been an odd sort of year for me as a giver. I looked a homeless man in the eyes and I will never be the same. He took my meager offering with gratitude and a humble grace only the truly needy have. I pray for him often. I didn’t just give. I care.

It’s been an odd sort of year for our church. Our interim pastor’s time with us ended. We will always love Paul Murphy. Our new senior pastor said yes to God’s call and we are celebrating His choice of Todd Olson for us. A few weeks ago Todd invited the congregation to “do life” with him. My heart responded with a great big…oh yeah – lets! Change is challenging but if we let it, it can also be transforming. The truth is: Jon and I love Todd too. An odd sort of thing happens in the hearts of believers when they see God in the family part of church. Todd and his family are family.

It’s been an odd sort of year for me as a speaker. I’ve had more opportunities and most of them have been a blessing to me as the presenter and the responses told me the hearers felt the same. I also had one that I felt was a total bomb on my part and I grieved it deeply. I care about the women I share with and I care about what they take away from our time together. So while I enjoyed success, I also felt failure. The latter tends to linger on our hearts bruising us over and over.

It’s been an odd sort of year for me a daughter, sister, and aunt. I’m having to do a lot of letting go in these precious relationships. Last year my dad was recovering from cancer surgery (his 2nd kind) …he’s doing great and doesn’t need me “hovering.” In fact, praise God, he’s working again and last week he helped Jon paint the entire downstairs of the house we’re renovating – not bad for a 71 year old man with a rare and untreatable form of cancer! Although Mom battles health issues on a daily basis, she baked our favorite Christmas treats and cooked our Christmas dinner. She had dad and didn’t need me to do or say a thing. I’ve watched my brother mature into an amazing man of love and quiet faith. I see God in him. While I know at times the needs are great … I see God providing my little brother with more faith – his own faith – not his sister’s! The kids I love are mostly grown and involved in their own lives. I’m lonely for them, but I also understand. I’ve never loved them more or prayed harder for them. I love being their aunt.

It’s been an exceptional sort of year for me as a wife. Jon and I will soon celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. We’ve grown closer during my tearing away time and God has used Jon as a balm to bind up my wounded heart. We’ve prayed more…loved more…and dared to know each other more.

It’s been an odd sort of year. One full of conflict and harmony; joy and sorrow; peace and discord; change and stabilizing; gain and loss; real laughter and deep hurt.

Perhaps you’ll think me odd…but in all of it there is potential and confirmed praise as God uses all of it for His purpose.

You might also think this is a pessimistic entry. I am in a deep thought mode…but I’m also incredibly grateful – and full of hope. The source of my hope is the one who was named Jesus – for He is always true and faithful.

To all of you…I wish for you a New Year full of more than happiness. I wish for you (and me!) the ability to recognize God-potential in the ups and downs of life; to experience God’s promises, and to offer authentic praise as you realize God’s presence more intimately in your lives!

Go ahead…be the you God created you to be…let Him and others love you…and whatever you do – believe in Him!

Be you…be loved…believe!

He Came…

I’ve read the Bible accounts and watched the Nativity (great movie by the way!). I know He came.

A baby who was fully God placed in a stable manger. I can’t wrap my mind around that…I believe it and I know it was motivated by God-sized love…but it’s still a wonderful mystery. The God of all…came to save us from our sins in a baby’s body headed for the cross and praise God – the resurrection!

He’s Coming…

I’ve read about this in prophecy but we can only imagine what this might look like. He’ll return motivated by God-sized justice. We’ll see Him in Kingly glory we can’t grasp but will recognize when we see it. The Son of God is coming again.

Tonight my focus is on the baby but I can’t keep the coming King out of my mind. Without Christmas there would be no Easter. Without Easter Christmas has no purpose.

I am thanking Him for an empty manger…an empty cross…and an empty tomb.

He came to save us from our sins.
He went to prepare a place for me that where He is I may also one day be
He’s coming because He promised.

Last night Jon bought me Rules of the Red Rubber Ball. It was a “just because” present…which translates into “just because she wants it.” Jon is gracious with me that way.

I love the man I married – he gets me.

So far, I am enjoying the book. I used to love the red rubber balls at my grade school. I could bounce them for long periods of time and day dream. Even as I think about it, I can smell them. I remember the feel of the funny lines that “decorated” them and what it felt like when my fingers pushed the ball down to the playground again and again.

I wasn’t athletic so the red rubber balls didn’t threaten me. We played four-square and dodge ball with them…or we were allowed to just bounce them. I loved the bouncing part. Especially when there was music and we could bounce them to the beat. That felt more like dancing than athletics. We could bounce them off the floor, alternating hands, and going in circles or walking sideways, forward, or backward. Gym was fun. I could work up a sweat and day dream and obey my teacher.

Maybe I need a for real red rubber ball. I’m not sure where I’d bounce it…but if I did… exercise would feel a lot more like fun…like dancing and that doesn’t feel so much like exercise at all.

Somewhere a long the way I lost the enjoyment of my body working the way it was designed to. When moving became exercise…and mandatory…it became a chore. When exercise was dance or bouncing a ball while day dreaming, I could remain active for hours. Sitting down never crossed my mind. Sweating wasn’t the goal…it was a by-product and really more of the sheen brought on by the joy in the act of moving my body.

When going for a walk became a workout…the delight diminished. When dancing became aerobic…the enjoyment ended.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll walk just to walk or dance just to dream.

I believe this could make all the difference in the world.

I just wanted to let you all know…my 2nd children’s book is here!

Leslie – my talented illustrator – did a wonderful job…she has the ability to see what I write.

Bandit was a real dog and we loved him for over 15 years. The story is fiction based on fact. The Christmas story is real…and so is the dog. Everything else is not. Oh – and he did come to us on Christmas Eve.

I chose to use our niece Amanda’s name in the story because Bandit loved her so much.

We miss our old friend.

It was a long time coming…but Room For Bandit is a reality!

You can email me and purchase it for $15 plus $3 shipping/handling – or if you live here…no shipping and handling – the price includes sales tax.

On December 3, 2006, at 49 years old I had the privilege of being in one of the Christmas programs at church. I hadn’t been in a program for about 30 years. Pastor Dan asked me to give my testimony…in about 100 words. I was so excited…and amused. Excited to be asked to honor God…and amused that this pastor who knows me…also knows I’m a chatterbox writer…100 words would be a challenge.

Here are my 99 words. And Dan if you read this…thank you for asking. It was a privilege!

I was lost and wandering…soul hungry for Jesus…

I asked, “God…do you hear the prayers of teenage girls like me?
If you do…please…send me someone who really knows Jesus.”

A knock at the door…
Permission to go…
A ride on bus…
A sermon…
A Truth revealed…

By grace you are saved through faith!

A prayer…

Jesus! I believe! I have sinned …please forgive me!

In that moment, I was transformed into a born-again girl in love with her real live Savior…

God not only heard me…He listened…and He answered!

He found me…and saved me…my soul is satisfied in Jesus.

The following link will take you to a video done by the Broward County Sheriff’s department in Florida. It’s important and I hope you’ll watch it.

It’s amazing how because I’m standing beside my car I think my purse, laptop, and cell phone are safe from threat. This video proves me wrong!

http://www.sheriff.org/videos/psa_cartheft.html

1 Samuel 16:7b
The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Yesterday we drove by a homeless guy. I felt compelled to go back so my husband quickly turned the car around. With $15 clutched in my hand I got out of the car. He accepted my offering and I got back in the car feeling like Christmas in my heart.

In the backseat, our 4 year old grand niece, Gracie, watched. She smiled at me when we got out of the car…she has this sweet little smile she shares with me now and then that tells me I’m special…that’s the one I got then.

Today I found out I was most likely fooled.

Okay…I really thought I saw a hopeless man sitting with all his worldly possessions and a dog. So how does a homeless guy afford a beautiful Siberian Husky? I don’t know…but I do know if I was on the street, I’d want a dog too. Companionship and protection wrapped up in a winter coat of fur seems like a good idea.

I believed with all my heart we were supposed to go back and be a blessing. Today I felt like a fool. Again. And it happens often enough it seems like a natural part of who I am.

I felt rotten about being scammed. It’s embarrassing and even a little bit shameful. I wasted $15 – which may not seem like a lot but when you feel like you could just as well have shredded it…well, it suddenly seems like a lot more than it is. Feeling scammed also puts a new light on giving and taking…or rather on giving and being taken.

This is the kind of thing that makes letting my light shine so those around me will see my good deeds and glorify my Father who is in heaven so stinking hard. I really had no intention of showing off my goodness. Or of glorifying God.

Get this: I was glad God put him and me on that corner at that moment so I could be a part of giving someone with nothing something.

I looked him in the eye and thought I saw hopelessness. God looked into my heart and saw my desire to give a guy some hope and a cup of coffee (it’s cold in Minnesota!). He said, “Thank you and God bless you!” God answered right away and blessed my heart.

So I was fooled by two faces … one forlorn and one furry.

My actions may look dumb…but I was motivated by compassion and that still small voice that whispered, “Go back” across my heart.

It’s never wrong to want to make a difference. To want to touch a heart with a smile, a handshake, and a God bless you too…and $15. Even a scamming heart. I’m only responsible for the state of my heart. The state of his is between him and God.

Later today I said to Jon, “I wish I knew the homeless guy’s story – the whole story. In a weird way I’m still glad I gave him the money.”

From the backseat Gracie said, “Me too.”

Jon agreed with Gracie.

So a little girl I love saw me hand a stranger some money…a stranger who looked like he really needed it. She also heard that I’d been fooled.

I wonder what she’ll remember most…an easily fooled auntie…or the day her auntie thanked God for the chance to feed a hungry homeless guy.

Maybe she won’t remember either…but God will. He looked at my heart and that’s really all that matters.

Now that’s a relief!

Collin Boyd stepped off the Metro bus on his way to work, and across the street he saw himself strolling down the sidewalk.

Author Robin Parrish opens his novel Relentless with the above words. From that sentence on he takes the reader on an unexpected ride.

I took the book on a solitary three day (me, the laptop, a Caribou Coffee down the street, and Relentless) writer’s retreat. For every so many words I got to read a chapter. I wrote fast (and badly) and read even faster. I ate supper in the hotel’s elegant restaurant, with the book as my dining companion. My last morning, gave up on the writing and read…I had to. The characters wouldn’t leave me alone. I was pretty sure I was getting a message from God on every page but it wasn’t “on” the pages.

I drove home determined to email the author and thank him for writing the book and share what God had shown me personally in the story. I did and he wrote back. My instincts were right – the message wasn’t from author Robin Parrish…but when I went back to the pages, there it was again!

If you like to be entertained, sit on the edge of your seat, (even while nibbling on homemade bread and drinking designer coffee), and losing all track of time, Relentless is an excellent choice. The story did all that and more for me.

There is no sermon anywhere in this book and yet you will be aware of God all over the place.

If you haven’t read it…I hope you will. If you have…in July 2007 the 2nd book in the series will be released.

You may notice while I’m reviewing this book, I’m not giving you any information about it other than I enjoyed it. I appreciate reviewers and the work they go to…but when I read a review and it gives me too much information about a book and it’s characters, I usually don’t end up buying it. The surprise is gone and so is the bang I want for my buck and from a brand new book.

If you read both my blogs, you’ll also notice the same entry on both. That’s because I really like this book and the author.

If you like finding about the latest in the arts by people who love Jesus, Robin’s Ezine Infuze is fantastic. www.infuzemag.com

Learn more about author Robin Parrish at www.robinparrish.com

Relentless is a breathtaking ride.

Fellowship around a table…for some of us it’s part of what we look forward to most about holidays. I love seeing my family gathered, eating delicious food, talking, and I love the time of prayer we start with.

On Thursdays I get to feast and fellowship around another kind of table. Several women pull up a chair and put their Bible and study book down. We look at each other in anticipation of the appetizer (prayer), the main course (the study of God’s Word), and dessert (the real sharing).

We are different ages, our life styles and life experiences are unique, and our hair color covers a wide spectrum of natural and assisted shades.

When I look around the table, I see beautiful women – every one of them! Their hunger and thirst for righteousness is nearly tangible. We’re not just hanging out (although we do some of that!)…we’re hanging out with the Love of our lives together.

We’re studying A Beautiful Offering by Angela Thomas. If you haven’t done this study…I highly recommend it! www.angelathomas.com

The women around this table want to give God their best. They want to know God better and love Him more.

Yesterday in our study the following words from the study grabbed us where we live…in that God-place where the little girls we really are live.

Angela writes (on page 26)

Can you picture the “covering of Christ” in your mind? Imagine curling up in the strong arms of Jesus. His shoulders curve in tenderness around your tired body. His head is bent low so that His cheek brushes against your tear-stained face. His hand gently strokes your hair. You feel His power. You are protected. You are safe. Because you are within Christ’s strength you too can become strong. Nothing can have you. You belong to God.”

I looked around the table and saw my sisters…surrounded by the love of the Father. The One Jesus called Abba…and I saw these women whose lives are beautiful offerings for who they really are…

…Daddy’s Girls.