No…I don’t mean the bestselling novel (although it was a good one!). I mean the notebook you and I can use to watch our dreams become goals.

Before my accident I kept my notebook with me at all times. It is now packed away somewhere…because I thought I’d be moving within a few days and wouldn’t have time for dreaming…at least not on my writing and speaking dreams. I’d be too busy making the dream of living in the country again come true.

It will but it’s on hold for a few more weeks.

Then I thought I’d wait to dream again until after the move and my healing had advanced a little more. I realize now that’s unwise. I’ve lost track of the dreams. I quit day dreaming and note taking. It’s been a loss.

I’m going to start a new notebook. And I hope you’ll start one too.

There’s something powerful about writing a dream down and then watching it come together in bits and pieces. (for more on this read my newsletter You-Nique at www.joydekok.com)

It doesn’t matter what your dream is. If you have your notebook with you…whenever a thought hits you, you find something on the topic, or you want to save an article or idea, you can put it in your notebook. You can make lists, write your prayers, capture a little of this and a lot of that before you lose them to a flimsy memory. (we all have them!)

This jotting, scribbling, and scratching is doing more than allowing you to dream. Each entry can be a step in seeing this possibility become your reality. You can track the barren places and the oasis. The feelings and the facts. The prayers and the answers. The ideas and the results. The wins and losses. The straight aways and the bends in the road. The lessons learned and the lessons given. The gifts given and those accepted. You can see the spiritual, the practical, the emotional, and the physical journey all in one place. You might even see one dream fizzle just about the time another is born and then realize the first dream was kindergarten and God has planted a graduation dream in your heart.

Want to join me in the journey? Read the article Day Dream Believer (You-Nique) at www.joydekok.com Then buy a notebook. When you’re ready…come on back here with some thoughts. Every now and then I’ll post something from my notebook adventure…I hope you’ll post yours here as well.

My notebooks are full of places where the Dream Giver and I have worked and reworked a dream. God has time for your dreams. If they are the for real deal…He will help you find a way to make them your reality. You have to be willing. In fact, if they are for real, they came from Him and He wants to be front and center in the process. With Him, all things are possible.

I’m having a hard time believing…that’s a staggering admission from the women who named her company “believe inc.”!

Our other house is almost ready to move into but I’m stuck in my bed or in my chair in what used to be a dining room I’m really struggling to believe I’m going to move. Okay…this might sound like whining (and maybe it is) but I’m being real here so for today…this is what you get!

There are three floors in the house we live in now. I’m confined to the main floor. I have a few things left to pack on this floor and in the coming days I will tackle this first. Maybe I’ll even start tomorrow.

That still leaves two floors. I asked Jon today if he’d mind bringing things down from upstairs or up from downstairs so I can pack and label the boxes and maybe someday find these things again. He said yes…partly because he’s glad to have me getting a little more involved in my life again and partly because he’d like it very much if I found these things again as well. So, that’s the plan for the coming weeks.

If it hadn’t been for this accident…we’d already be moved. That’s hard to swallow sometimes. I try all the “right” answers and believe every one of them. But they don’t satisfy as much as I think they should. I continue to know but, rats…I want to move…now.

That’s not going to happen.

Jon still has a few jobs to do out there to make it move in ready. But, with coming home often to check on me and his full time and then some job…there’s not been time for him to get back to the work out there. Maybe Saturday. I know it weighs on him.

I keep thinking that if I get back to the packing it will help. I hope I’m right.

The next step will be learning to go upstairs on my bottom – which when I consider the arm strength that’s going to take I break out in a cold sweat! It’s only about 8 stairs. Surely I could make it once a day…we have a gazebo and I’m going to want to sit out there on really nice days! But can I really accomplish this feat on the stairs? I’m so not believing I can do this…and if I can it’s going to take time to master.

Unpacking some things will be difficult from a wheelchair and I’m still a little wobbly on one leg and the walker. Unbalanced is more the right description but that seems such an unkind word. Because I have to hold on to something I’m also one handed when standing. Oh the things I’ve taken for granted for so long!

I find myself missing the feeling of moving like I used to. I flex my injured ankle every day like my surgeons instructed me. I can’t see much progress but Jon says he sees more movement each day. I’m blessed in the husband department for sure.

I may have to let friends put my dishes in the cupboards…this is a job I’ve always loved and hesitate to give it to someone else. I will have to let them hang up my clothes and put my pretties in my hutches. I will also need their help cleaning before we move into the other house and when we’ve moved out of this one. They’re ready and waiting. So why is that so stinking hard? I love doing this kind of thing for other people…accepting is the much harder of the two.

So, the move is going to happen. So it’s not that I don’t believe it will never happen…I just know it’s not going to happen now. Well, that’s a relief. I really do believe after all. I’m discouraged but not having a crisis of faith in God. I do know He’s good – always. I trust His plan. I just wish I could sync up with Him as easily as my ipod syncs with my computer. Him and I really are on the same page…just a different timeline. He knows His impatient daughter well and loves her anyway.

Yes…I do too believe. In Him. Now I just need His help in doing the packing and letting that be enough for today…tomorrow…and for all the time it takes. So believing isn’t the root problem here…waiting is. That should be a relief but it feels more like I’m starting a new confession here. Well, one a day is enough!

I was on my way down to xray to make sure the external-fixator on my leg (this resembled an erector set!) was holding my broken bones in place until the docs could do the second surgery. My fixator involved 4 good-sized metal pin-like things connected by two metal braces. I was both impressed with the technology and I confess a little overwhelmed by the fact that they went into bone to hold my ankle together.

They rolled my gurney in line. The guy next to me took my breath away. He was one huge external-fixator from his waist down. I couldn’t count the number of metal pins holding him together (his made mine look like toothpicks!)…because of my tears. I gripped the sheets and begged God to give the man strength and healing and perseverance. I prayed he’d walk again. His suffering sent shivers through me.

I looked at his face as I prayed. I think I prayed silently but at one point he opened his eyes and looked back at me. If he saw me, he saw my tears. I wouldn’t be surprised if my prayers weren’t as silent as I thought…sometimes the words just come out you know? And I was on mission of petition.

I haven’t forgotten him although I’ve been home for several days now. I continue to ask God to heal him. I don’t know his name but I pray for him anyway.

God knows his name…and the plan He has for Him. I hope he knows Jesus because I can’t imagine getting through a broken ankle without Him…let a lone a shattered body.

And with that thought I’m again praying…Please God, be with the man on the gurney next to me!

In the movies they wear tights and have feathers in their caps and flourish swords.

My Musketeers wore jeans. Two of them wore cowboy boots. Jon (my husband) sat near me on the wet rock floor and whispered encouragements into my ear as pain seared up my leg from the broken ankle to my hip. Ron stood guard over my broken and off-angle ankle so no one would bump me and cause yet more pain. Stuart waited outside for the ambulance to direct them to me the minute they arrived.

I had two Fair Damsels as well. Lori and Pat directed people traffic and prayed for me.

These five people always bless my life. That night…they protected and watched over me.

I’ll always be thankful for their tender concern…for Jon’s incredible love…and for friends willing to stand guard over an injured friend. In a good situation these kinds of relationships are precious. In times of trouble…they’re priceless.

Thank you dear Musketeers and Fair Damsels!

We went out with friends to celebrate Jon’s 50th birthday. We enjoyed good food and great fellowship then headed out of the restaurant for a movie. We made it to the hospitality desk when my world and my body came crashing down. The restaurant had a beautiful shiny stone floor that was wet. My foot found a slippery spot…I fell down and could not get up.

My knee went one way and my foot turned flat at the ankle…not a naturally angle for that joint. My brain commanded the foot to move and it didn’t. Then pain crashed into the bones…a red hot surge that jolted me all the way to my hip and back down again lightening fast.

I sat on the floor and waited for the ambulance to come. The paramedic looked at my foot and then at me. “How attached to your boots are you?” he asked. “Very…please cut it off,” I responded. The pain was getting worse fast and I thought relief might be a moment away. So he cut off my boot. I loved that boot. Really I did.

Pain relief was a long ways off. Tonight I’m finally home…after 13 days in the hospital and two surgeries. My pain meds are powerful but I’m taking less of them as my body adjusts to it’s 2 new plates, a couple pins, and some screws.

Travel is limited to where I can hop on my walker or ride in my wheelchair. Going in a car is still difficult but I’m praying that will improve. I really want to be able to go back to church and my Bible study friends.

I used to laugh at the commercial…help me I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. It’s not so funny anymore…it’s now part of my real life experience.

In the coming days I’ll share some precious God-moments and a few dark ones…life is full of both but to be honest I know this: the God-moments are bigger than the other…and so much more lasting. You will hear me share my joy in the Lord…and I will use what might sound like Christian clichés…but they are now far more than words. They come from a heart that has lived them.

I’ve now sung Have Thine Own Way Lord alone in a dark hospital room with tears of pain streaming down my face. I wasn’t kidding. He wasn’t either when He promised He would never leave or forsake me.

God said His plan is a good one…so I’m looking for the good in all of this and finding that when a person falls and can’t get up…God sits on the wet floor beside them and waits for the paramedics. He upholds the fallen one’s loved ones. He whispers comfort through the prayers of family, friends, three gentle pastors, a hospital chaplain, and a roommate who also belonged to Him.

Not getting up is hard. Not getting up with God would be so much harder.