For years I’ve been sung many of the “Joy” songs including the Joy to the World version made famous by the Three Dog Night. If you like Rock & Roll, you can hear (in your memory) the guys singing “Jeremiah was a bullfrog – was a good friend of mine…” It’s the kind of song that just stays with you.

Many of you know that days after we moved out to the country, Jon bought a John Deere Gator. It’s the only way I’m going to see our 35 acres this year. (plus we can haul rocks and fire wood) Most mornings since the Gator came home, Jon has taken me down to what he calls “the Frog Bog.” It’s a pond full of bulrushes (a kind of cattail), birds, and bull frogs. Although it’s down in the woods, we can hear their nighttime serenades in our house – with the windows shut! That’s a lot of frogs.

One croaks with a deeper bass which sounds more like the bark of a mid-sized dog. Unlike some of the other frogs he offers a loud single “bark” only now and then…including in the morning when we shut the Gator off.

When I laugh out loud, he sometimes offers me another bark-croak which of course makes me laugh again. He really sounds like the curmudgeon of the bog. Either that or he’s the daddy who sings bass.
I don’t know the ways of bullfrogs yet. I’ve been told they don’t have ears and respond to vibration rather than hearing. If that’s so, it’s not my “good morning” that evokes his croaky response – it’s the Gator’s engine.

It’s a good thing I don’t need to kiss a frog because I’d still be single! However, my prince sits on the Gator beside me every morning getting a kick out of me and the croaker in the bass section I call Jeremiah.
If you come for a visit and hear a woman’s voice drifting up from the woods singing it will be me. You might hear me singing along with Chris Tomlin or Jeremy Camp. But then again, you might hear me singing new words to an old Rock & Roll song…

Jeremiah is a bullfrog…is a good friend of mine…I never understand a single word he says…but I like his bullfrog bog just fine.

A love letter to my nieces & nephews…

I married your Uncle Jonathan when we were 19. We loved God and each other. Our day was beautiful. I got the dress of my dreams, family & friends came,and I went home with my husband to be his wife.

We’d purchased a little house the month before we got married. Instead of a honeymoon, we settled in together. For the first time, I made a bed for 2 and washed a man’s clothes. I learned to cook in the crock pot – we received 3 as wedding gifts!

Almost right away, we decided we wanted children. We figured things would progress the same way they had for our parents.

As time passed, our friends who married after us were pregnant and we were still hoping.

Eventually, we faced the facts. God said no to our prayers and His plan for us was to love you. We jumped into the joy of loving you with our whole hearts.

We always knew where we belonged in your lives. We were Aunt Joy and Uncle Jonathan. We knew our place in your lives was on the sidelines…so we made ourselves at home there. And it was in that place that God blessed us the most!

When we took you places and people complimented us on our children…you know if I had time I explained I was your aunt…to your embarrassment at times. I didn’t want to give anyone the wrong impression or let any part of our relationship to look like a lie. When I didn’t get a chance to explain I did thank the folks who complimented you because you were good and special and I was so proud you were my nieces and nephews.

Every time one of you came into our lives, God enlarged our hearts. We had no idea we could love so deeply. Each of you gave us something amazing…something no one else could…your love.

When you came to visit, our house was fuller and our hearts overflowed. When you left, we missed you before you were out of the driveway but, knew you were going where you belonged – home.

When you were asleep, I checked on you – and prayed over you. When you were awake I reveled in the wonder of you – every one of you caused me to stop in my tracks over and over again. I spent a lot of time thanking God for blessing our lives with you.

Sometimes I kissed you all over your faces and other times I just threatened and you were instantly better children!

We have laughed with you and cried for you. Life has been full of decisions and some rocky times for you. I cannot tell you how much your sadness grieves our hearts. We have also celebrated…your marriages and now the children you are bringing into the world and our lives.

Two of you went to heaven so soon. We’ve never gotten over this loss. We still weep for them while we rest assured they are with God.

Funny thing about loving all of you…each one of you is our favorite. That’s not something I can explain but it’s our truth.

Beloved Ones…your Uncle Jon and I will love you forever. We brag on you every chance we get because each of you has something unique and positive we can tell others about.

I used to carry pictures of you with me to show off…but in the best interest of my friends and acquaintances I had to stop that. There were 20-some of you to start with. As some of you have married and had children…well, it was getting obnoxious.

You’ve got moms and dads, grandparents, and other aunts and uncles who love you too.

We’re not “it” in your lives. But you need to know…you lit up the darkness of infertility for us with your I love yous, your laughter, and your hugs.

We’ve entered a new phase of life…not only are we no ones parents…we’re no ones grandparents either. We didn’t see this part of it coming. So for those of you sharing your children with us…well, their I love yous, laughter, and hugs are the bright spot in this second part of the journey.

I ain’t your mama and I’ve never let myself contemplate that…but, dear ones…I is your Auntie and it’s one of God’s greatest blessings to me.

You know the feeling – life is busy and you know you need to cut back. Something or somethings have to go. I love writing blogs and was working on 4. I realized that The Heart of Writing and the one on the Getting It Write site were both on writing. I also know I love encouraging writers. However, one of them is enough for this time in my life. One has to go.

I love feeding writing souls. I love that almost as much as I love writing itself. Not quite but it’s really close. In the coming months I’d love to see the Getting It Write group flourish. We’re a tiny group right now and that’s good too. On the topic of writing, I want to pour my gift of encouragement into other writers.

If you’re a writer and want to join the group – please take a look at the site. It’s no cost membership except for the commitment to writing. Even if you are not interested in any form of self-publishing or being involved in a critique group, you are welcome to join. I ask those things so I know what needs you have and what you hope to gain from the group.

I want to invest my heart in writers who are writing. I long to share the journey with them no matter what publishing track they take.

So while I’m cutting back on the number of blogs I have, the quality and energy spent at Getting It Write will be greater.

This BELIVE blog and the Rain Dance blog will also be active. I will continue to offer the BELIEVE newsletter and the Getting It Write newsletter at no charge to readers. You must sign up for both.

I’m doing some real soul-searching in this time of recovery and asking God to clarify my call. The desire to encourage is greater than ever before.

I guess there is money to be made in charging a price for newsletters. While I’d love to make an income of some kind from writing, that’s not my main goal. Sharing my life, my heart, my gifts, and my talents drives me to do write at times for free.

One thing you can do as readers is respond. Blog writers love a response. A discussion. We want to know your hearts and share your life. It’s a big deal to us.
Well, I’m cutting back. That’s always hard. I need to cut back on other things too…but for today one thing is enough.

He’s my second homeless guy.

He held a sign that read: Vet With Needs. I told Jon I had prayed for a real live poor person to help and that we needed to go to this man. Without a second of hesitation he did pulling a $10 bill out at the same time.

We watched as the Vet limped to our car. Okay – that did it…my leg is still bum and he walks like a man with a permanent leg brace or an artificial leg.

When Jon handed him the money tears welled up. He said he and his lady were living in the woods and needed some detergent. He had some food stamps and they’d get by food wise but they sure did need other supplies.

I asked him what his first name was explaining I wanted to pray for him. He looked at me as if I’d just handed him a chest of gold. “My name is Jim darlin’ what’s yours?” We told him our names and then he said, “Jesus is my personal Lord and Savior. I’ll be praying for you too.” Sort of cancels out the false health and wealth gospel doesn’t it? Those who believe this lie would have me to believe that my Vet isn’t a real believer or he doesn’t have enough faith. I saw first-hand a Jesus lover in extreme poverty. A man so unashamed of Jesus he could hardly wait to share Him with us!

We pulled away with tears in our eyes. We longed to do more and couldn’t. When Jim spoke, he nodded at the woods nearby. I’ve been in those woods. They are a nice place to visit but not such a good place to live.

It’s over 90 degrees and humid here today. Jim isn’t standing out there getting rich playing on people’s sympathies. If he had some money, he’d find a better place to spend his Saturday. He’s a desperate man with true needs. Desperate enough to beg. Some will say we should have shopped for detergent for him instead of handing him cash. Yah, yah, yah.

Here’s the thing. God was very clear – we were to give to the man with the sign. He was an answer to my prayer and we were an answer to his. What he does with what he’s given is between him and God. When I give to these beloved folks I want to give them more than a bit of money. I want to give them my respect. I want them to know that once the money leaves my hand it’s theirs. It’s a gift. Freely given – free of expectation.

Ten dollars is a token when I consider his needs. It’s what we had. We gave him our coffee money. I’m grinning as I write this…because every time I miss one of those chocolate delights I’m going to have the wonderful privilege of praying for Jim. Is that just the coolest thing or what? I get to fast from my latte and pray for a man God loves dearly. A man who boldly professes to love Jesus in return with so much joy it took my breath away.

While I’d love it if there were no more homeless guys anywhere, there will be. And I’m already praying for my next one. Instead of saving out just coffee money this month, I think I’ll find a way to save out some homeless guy dollars too. Maybe God will send me more than one.

Jim is on my prayer list…and I’m on his. I wonder if this makes the God we both love smile. Now that would be cool!

Return to Mattress Island. Sounds like a lost episode of Gilligan’s Island doesn’t it?

I had just taken back a little bit of my personal independence. Doesn’t that sound grand? Well, it was only doing the laundry but for a few days…it was grand! It meant more trips up and down one set of stairs and standing awhile on my good leg causing a bit of cramping in my larger muscles…but I was doing something normal.

Then we noticed my right foot, ankle, and leg (almost to the knee) swelling more and more. It’s not only the swelling - the size no longer decreases with eight hours of elevation while I sleep. (this happened briefly when we added weight to 100lbs but that eased in time as the limb adjusted)

Jon asked me to please spend more time in bed again. I have to tell you – I rebelled even the thought! That’s not progress! That’s a set back! Then he told me (gently) he thought he needed to do the laundry today and maybe for a couple of days to give me more time to rest.

Rest? I want to be doing more not less.

Then Jon said, “Nothing matters right now as much as your ankle healing.”

My brief rebellion evaporated. And then, I cried because I’m sad. I want to be well and walking around without the aid of a walker.

I won’t “surprise” Jon with clothes fresh from the dryer folded and ready to be put away. That was only one thought that flitted through my mind in my rebellious moments! There are others I am choosing to decline mentioning but I will admit – my mind works fast when in that detestable mode.

I will put ice on my swollen parts. I will put the leg up on pillows while I sit on my bed…at least two hours at a time during the daylight hours. (to keep myself there I take off my aircast – it takes a little bit of maneuvering for me to get it back on and disobeying is not worth that effort!) I will listen to my husband.

I will also continue to pray. I will listen to what Gracie calls “God music.” (praise cds) I will read the Word of God – at times out loud because I love hearing them spoken.

Before you think I’m this wonderful saint of a woman…please don’t! Because I’ll cry again from the sadness. If the swelling doesn’t improve and the pain continues, I’m going to cry because this really feels like a set back and I don’t want this to take any longer than it has to! Choosing to worship is just the better way to handle the hurt in my heart. And it is the only way I know to give Him the glory for something I really don’t fully understand.

I will trust Him. I will believe. And for some human reason, I will still cry. The only redeeming thing in my tears seems to be that He sees them and understands them. He is not disappointed by them or disgusted by my weakness. He knows I have pain and I know He has a plan for it.

He lets me cry and I let Him do a work in me.

So the truth is…a set back can be a set up to worship…and so much more. I get to pick. Will I see His love in the midst of this or will I just feel sorry for me?

Confession: probably both.